I find myself compelled to discuss the difficult topic of
homosexual leadership within the Church. As a man who has provided counsel to
men who struggle with homosexuality this is not a topic I take lightly. I’ve
never known what it feels like, but I’ve listened to men as they attempt to
explain the pain they feel while wrestling with homosexuality and Christianity.
The message often comes through tears as they describe to me how they love and
desire to honor God and at the same time feel so naturally homosexual that they
could never imagine living a different lifestyle. I share this because I want
to be clear that I believe the pain and struggle are real. It’s heartbreaking
for me to hear and as a compassionate human there is something inside of me that
wants to tell them that there is nothing wrong or sinful about living what
feels to be a natural lifestyle for them. I believe it’s the same “human
instinct to comfort” that’s working inside of me that has also driven many
modern Churches to embrace homosexuality.
This discussion is one of leadership. I am not attempting to
answer the question of can a person be both Christian and a homosexual, though
I am sure some of the arguments I make here can be directly applied to that
topic. I am solely addressing the topic of can an open and practicing
homosexual hold a position of leadership within the Church.
What compels me to discuss this is an open topic on our
community site written by one of our long time community users. In that topic
he explains how he has wrestled with the concepts of grace, several teachings
of Jesus, the constant sinful condition of man, and trying to find a place
within the Church for homosexuals. I believe this man is a Christian and I’ve
often appreciated his insights on various topics. I do not believe him to be
heretic, to be demon possessed, or standing against the message of God’s
salvation through Jesus Christ. I think he’s a good man who wrestles with the
same desire I mentioned above. He sees the pain and wants to find a place for
all men. He wants to tell them everything is okay. He has come to the
conclusion that people living homosexual lifestyles are no worse sinners than
the rest of us and because of that they shouldn't be excluded from serving the
Church in any capacity. While well intentioned, I cannot agree with his
conclusion that practicing homosexuals can also be active leaders within the
Church.
I want to zero in on the core issue here. All men are
sinners. I agree that homosexuals are no worse sinners than the arrogant and
condescending jerks who perpetuate hate against them, or the rest of us for
that matter. I will even go one step further than to agree that all men have
sinned and I will say that all men will continue to sin. There is no such thing
as a sin free person, before or after knowing Christ. This is a serious issue
the Church needs to understand about its leaders. Pastors are all still active
sinners. They are all still fallible. It shocks the Church when we find out
that one of our leaders has had an affair, or that the associate Pastor has an
addiction to porn. The more shocking thing to me is that we continue to hold men
up as though they are more than just men.
How then do we reconcile the undeniable fact that all men
will sin going forward in life with the higher calling we place on our leaders?
Do we actually have to take a look at the specific sin? Do we have to judge
which sins are more or less important? No, I don’t think we have to do that.
What we have to examine is the individual leader’s response
to their sin. Yes, we are talking about repentance and in the light of this
discussion it becomes even more important than ever before. We need to discuss
what it means to embrace a lifestyle of sin as opposed to living in this world
as a sinful person.
There are indeed Christians in our world who struggle with
homosexuality. There are men and women who feel the desire to live as
homosexuals but because of their desire to follow God and their understanding
that homosexuality is a sin, they choose not to practice homosexual behaviors.
These individuals are not living a lifestyle of sin. They are living no
differently than all the men out there who serve God and struggle with lust.
They fight tooth and nail against a predisposed sin because they love God.
These Christians are doing their best to align themselves with a Christ-like
attitude and life. I would welcome these men into a position of leadership no
differently than the rest.
Individuals who live a sinful lifestyle have accepted their
behavior and embraced it as a part of who they are. They have either come to
the conclusion that their behavior isn’t sin and they live in disagreement with
God or they have concluded that God doesn’t care about their lifestyle of sin because
His Grace covers it.
This discussion is completely worthless to anyone who comes
to the conclusion that homosexuality isn’t sin. I have no thoughts of any value
to add to those individuals on this topic.
If we as a Church are going to embrace leaders who believe
homosexuality is a sin, and continue to live in an openly homosexual lifestyle,
then we need to understand what we are doing. By that act, we are throwing
repentance out the window and declaring that we don’t care what God’s Word
says. Yes, we are truly giving everyone a seat at the table, but at what cost
and to what table? We’d also better be ready to accept with open arms into
leadership anyone else who lives a lifestyle of sin regardless of what sin that
is. To do any different would be to place ourselves in the seat of judgment
where we do in fact pick which sins are acceptable.
Let’s expand on what it means to live a lifestyle of sin.
This is very important. Lifestyle means that it permeates everything we do,
that it never leaves; it is a part of who we are, and is not temporary or
occasional. Homosexual feelings are not a lifestyle. The incidence of a
homosexual behavior is not a lifestyle. The ongoing and willing integration of
those two into one’s daily life is.
Drinking an alcoholic beverage is not a lifestyle. The
incidence of getting drunk is not a lifestyle. Being a drunk is a lifestyle
just as is being a homosexual.
A drunk is a person who has embraced the notion that life is
better with alcohol constantly in their system. A drunk wakes up in the morning
and cracks open a beer, makes themselves a bloody mary, or just takes a swig
from the bottle next to their bed. They head off to work with alcohol in their
system, have another drink or three at lunch and grab some more alcohol on the
way home from work. When they get home they get hammered, pass out, and wake up
the next day to do it all over again. It’s an all day, everyday affair. Can a
Christian be a drunk, getting bombed daily, waking with a drink, passing out
every night and view it as an acceptable lifestyle to God? Sounds absurd,
doesn’t it?
How about the Pastor of your Church? Can he be a drunk? Not
someone who struggles with alcohol and fights it tooth and nail, but someone
who lives life as a drunk. How about a Prostitute? How about an adult film
star? Look, times are tough and the economy is giving many Churches a beating,
is it cool with you if your Pastor makes some extra cash on the side selling
meth? I’m in no way trying to make light of homosexuality but there are many
people out there who view the things I mentioned above as acceptable lifestyles
too. That’s where the line must be drawn. The leaders of the body of Christ
cannot live and behave in a consistent state of opposition to God; they cannot
decide to embrace any form of sin more than the legitimacy of God’s Word
regardless of how natural the sin may feel.
To conclude the conversation about the difference between
living a lifestyle of sin and the fact that man will always have incidences of
sin, let’s take a look at John chapter 8. In this famous passage, a woman
caught in adultery is brought before Jesus by accusers who are attempting to
trap Jesus. They are doing so with the difficult question of grace versus
judgment. After Jesus asks those men (who are attempting to trap Him) if there
is any among them who was without sin and who was willing to throw the first
stone to kill the woman, the men give up their feeble attempt to trap God and
leave. Yes, Grace won and the woman’s life was saved. However, don’t get caught
up in the idea that these men were attempting to judge her, they were only
there in an attempt to trap Jesus. However the woman does receive the gift of
grace from our LORD but the grace given to her has absolutely nothing to do
with the sin of the men attempting to trap Jesus. It is only because Jesus has the
authority and is willing to bestow grace upon her that she is given it. The
sinful person does not get God’s grace simply because every other person is
just as sinful. That is an insult to the sacrificial love of our God, Creator,
and Savior.
After the accusers are gone Jesus says this:
John 8:10 …”Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned
you?” 11 “No one, sir,” she said. “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus
declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.” (NIV)
Which is it, go and sin no more, or go now and leave your
life of sin? The King James Version translates it as “go and sin no more” while
the New King James Version adds a foot note explaining that several texts
include the words “from now on”. The English Standard Version also translates
verse 11 to say “go, and from now on sin no more.”
In all of the translations the message is clear, Jesus gives
grace and then tells her to go and make a change in her lifestyle. He is not
telling her to leave his presence and never commit a sin again in her life,
Jesus knows that isn’t realistic. He’s saying I am not standing here right now,
in this moment, to condemn you, go and change your lifestyle. This isn’t a
story of free grace because of the sins of other men. This is Jesus giving a
sinful woman the opportunity to change.
I think it’s also worth noting that many people believe that
the woman in this text might have been Mary Magdalene, who later became one of
Jesus’ followers. If that was in fact the case, do you think that she changed
her lifestyle or that Jesus continued to welcome her as a follower while she
continued living as an adulteress? Now I’m just being ridiculous, aren’t I?
Circling back to the painful portion of the conversation; I
believe the desire to embrace homosexuality within the Church springs from a
good-natured desire to love, comfort, and affirm one another. Those within the
Church who choose the approach of embracing and affirming homosexuality do so
because its feels much better and is less painful than the alternative. How do
you look someone you love in the eye and tell them that what feels to be a
natural or preferred lifestyle to them is sin, that it is wrong, that it isn’t
natural and that according to God they need to make a very uncomfortable
change? You do it with honesty and love, expecting to share their pain rather
than shielding them from it.
Let me explain a little more about the connection between drunkenness
and homosexuality. I know at this point there are many people reading this who
will take exception to my comparison of the two. I encourage those individuals
not to get caught up judging between sins and to keep an open mind because the
two have a lot in common.
Earlier I mentioned struggling against a predisposed sin and
this is probably the strongest tie the two lifestyles share. Many homosexuals
share that their feelings are so natural that they believe they were born gay
or at a minimum had some sort of genetic predisposition to it. Science bears out
that there are clearly individuals who are born with a predisposition to
substance abuse. Nature or nurture and often both, play a large role in
determining who will and will not struggle with alcohol abuse in their lives.
Between homosexuality and alcoholism there is considerably more science to back
a predisposition to alcoholism. As an individual with both alcoholics and
homosexuals in my family, I will simply agree that be it nature or nature,
individuals can be predisposed to both.
How do you tell someone with a natural desire to be drunk
that what they desire is sin, and that it isn’t socially acceptable? Do you shield
them from the pain by telling them that everything is okay and that they should
embrace their natural feelings? Again that sounds absurd. There are many
people, who have had that difficult conversation with loved ones, choosing not
to shield them from the pain of a difficult realization that they need to live
contrary to their natural desires. They have that honest and painful conversation
out of love and I don’t think the approach the Church takes in either the case
of alcoholism or homosexuality should be any different. How can we as the body
of Christ fail to ask for the same change that Jesus did? Even worse, what
happens if and when we fail to do so?
Proverbs 24:26 says “An honest answer is like a kiss on the
lips” (NIV).
Proverbs 29:5 says “Whoever flatters his neighbor is
spreading a net for his feet.” (NIV)
This topic comes down to two approaches, uncomfortable
honesty or feel good flattery. As I said at the beginning, this discussion is
one of leadership. I don’t care what your sinful lifestyle may look like, I
want your rear end in a seat at my Church this Sunday. I do care that you’ve
been able to demonstrate repentance and wisdom in your life before I’m going to
allow you to lead others within my Church. Our leaders are our examples, we
hold them to our highest standards and while they are still active sinners they
can’t live in constant unrepentant opposition to God. If we accept that, the net
we are spreading is for the feet of everyone who is following them.
As the body of Christ we must reach out to all men, we must
encourage everyone to come to Christ and we must find a way to minister to
homosexuals. I want people who struggle with homosexuality and other lifestyle
sins to come and be given the same opportunity to change that Jesus gave the
adulteress. We can’t lie to them for the sake of saving their feelings. Oh how
reckless is the easy way out.
Ryan Reeves
Founder and Director
ryanreeves@menofjesus.org
